Scared

Once again, it’s that time: the time I drive my kids to see their father. He lives quite far so we meet up at a halfway point. The kids get to see him only 2-3 times a year. For me, that’s more than enough.

Since our divorce I feel like we have become strangers to each other. I barely know or understand him anymore. So, why wouldn’t I be scared about letting a stranger watch my kids for a week?

Last night I went out and bought the girl a pre-paid phone. She is aware of the chronic issues her father deals with, even if she doesn’t fully understand them. She knows what he ISN’T suppose to consume while they are with him. She knows to call for help if she ever needs it. And it completely saddens me that she has to deal with this at such a young age.

I haven’t always been a religious person. Now I’d say I was more spiritual. I believe in a higher power. I have seen my HP work wonders I cannot ever explain. I know is sounds hokey, but when I pray to my HP, I actually see results. No shit. So I am praying for my children’s safety and happiness for the next week. I am also praying I will relax a little and enjoy the much needed break.

Heaven Help Me

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