I get into a room of women and all the spit disappears from my mouth. The hairs on the back of my neck go up. Then the panic sets in…
I have been burned by more women friends than a girl scout cookies has calories. I have done my very best to avoid women at all costs. But in these last few years that has been very hard.
See…I got divorced. Then the Ex moved out-of-state and I had custody of my children 24/7. And he didn’t have a job, so no child support. This means I needed HELP! During the first 2 years I actually found TWO friends! But, wouldn’t you know it, those relationships crashed and burned just like all the others due to deceit and trickery.
So I would skulk around the playground, watching my kids, wondering who I could ask to be my friend. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it because most of the parents were women. And if I approached a man, everyone would think I was hitting on them!
Don’t get me wrong. I am a very friendly person. In fact, some might liken me to a doormat. In order to branch out I would over-offer help to other people—thinking maybe they would reciprocate. Then we would develop a friendship where I could call said people in a pinch to watch my kids so I could run to the pharmacy. What actually happens is these people will take all the help I offer and give me nothing in return, leaving me feeling empty, drained, and resentful.
You know what they say about expectations? They are just future resentments.
So where is this post going…I need friends. Real women who are mature and hate drama. I need a girlfriend who I can occasionally vent to, who will help me when I am overwhelmed with life. Someone who won’t bat an eye if I ask to drop off my kids for one-hour-of-silence to get rid of a migraine.
The women I tend to meet are narcissistic witches, who try to come off as sympathetic and supportive but who actually drain the life out of you, very very slowly.
So I’m doing something very scary. I am going to try and approach some people I know, and ask them to be my friend. To have coffee with me. To sit with me at the lunch table.